What can Frozen teach us about our emotions?

My son is almost three years old. He recently discovered Disney’s Frozen from 2013, and is currently obsessed with it. This means that I have watched the film far more times than I probably would have liked and also shamelessly know the words to every song by heart.  

Since the massive box office hit has been on my mind in recent weeks, I couldn’t help but notice some truths about mental health in the characters and in the plot line of the film. The story of true love between two sisters, which was quite different from other Disney princess films at the time, also highlights some key ideas about our emotions that can lead to better mental health

In the story, a young Elsa has magical ice powers that are strongly connected to and influenced by her emotions. While playing, Elsa accidentally hurts her younger sister, Anna, and the royal family races the two girls to wise magical trolls. The trolls heal Anna and advise that fear will lead to danger in Elsa’s powers. Ironically enough, the girl's father responds with fear, by keeping Elsa’s powers a secret, and isolating her from the kingdom and her younger sister. The movie shows the King teaching Elsa to “conceal, don’t feel” and to keep her powers in check so that she does not hurt anyone else. Consequently, this also means doing the same for her emotions.

We can see Elsa’s magic as big emotions or negative emotions. We are often taught by caregivers at a young age that we should keep big emotions under control or hidden, in turn shaming ourselves for experiencing things like anger, sadness, or fear. We can see Elsa later becomes a very anxious adult, constantly trying to keep herself in control of how she feels. She keeps forceful and impenetrable boundaries with herself and others so as not to harm anyone. In doing so, she also misses out on joy and connection, as she is always shut in and disconnected from those she loves. Not to mention how alone she probably felt.

How is this similar to us? We fear our big emotions. We want to control them or pretend they aren’t there. We put walls up to protect ourselves. We try to never be angry or sad. We tell ourselves just to “think positive” or to “just get over it”. We numb ourselves with substances or media to escape the feelings inside. 

When Elsa is confronted, and her emotions become too strong for her to keep in control, her powers are revealed to the kingdom. To escape, Elsa runs to the North Mountain, where we are graced with her illustrious solo of “Let it Go”, and with the idea that running away will somehow solve all her problems. She is happy for a moment, but it doesn’t last long. In the reprise of the song, Elsa herself states, “I’m such a fool, I can’t be free”. Alas, running away from emotions is no help either. It might distract us for a short time, but they eventually come back, usually bigger or stronger than before.

Alternatively, Anna has no boundaries with emotions and often makes unwise decisions based on how she feels. She falls in love and immediately agrees to get married, although she’s only known Hans for a few hours. She enters a loud and embarrassing argument with her estranged sister in front of guests, leaves the entirety of her kingdom in the hands of her fiance, whom she’s only just met, and makes a journey she is very ill prepared for. And although she is quite endearing and comical and things work out in the end, it’s hard not to notice how she acts entirely on her emotions.

It isn’t until both girls focus on what they truly value, which is love, that the kingdom of Arendelle is saved, and the girls rekindle their sisterly bond. Elsa chooses to face her fears and embrace her emotions, while focusing on love. Anna recognizes her unwise decisions and chooses to act on what is most important to her rather than on fleeting powerful emotions. Anna’s curse is broken by her own act of true love for her sister, and Elsa is able to unfreeze the fjord. 

In large part, we can’t control what emotions we have. It is normal to experience a wide range of big emotions from anger and fear to love and compassion. When we try to bury those feelings, control them, or run from them, we often create bigger problems and become severely dysregulated. We have panic attacks, anger blow outs, or isolate ourselves. And when we allow our big emotions to take over, they control us. We make unwise decisions, say things we shouldn’t say, act in ways we really don’t want to act in the long term. 

But if we can learn to embrace our emotions we can have more control over our life. We can learn from the information that emotions are trying to share with us, experience the fullness of life, the good and the bad, in the moment. We can connect with others and find true joy, while pursuing who we want to become. 

The goal should be embracing our emotions, rather than trying to control them and learning skills on how to better regulate yourself. Our emotions are normal and important to experience. We don’t want to get rid of them and we don’t want them to control our lives. There are healthy ways to regulate your body and mind so that you can experience and accept emotions and still act towards what you value. Here are some ideas: 

Mindfulness breathing to help calm the body and mind. (Try our free course on breathing!) 

Noticing and naming how you feel: what does my body feel like? What emotion is this? When is this coming up for me? Stay curious.

Journaling how you feel. 

Practice self compassion.

Communicating in a healthy way to someone that listens. 

Prayer.

Seeing your thoughts for what they are: just thoughts. 

Taking care of yourself and managing stress. 

Had Elsa learned how to regulate her emotions, rather than to fear them, she might have had a better relationship with her sister and the people of her kingdom. She also would have felt more in control of her life and experienced more joy. 

Don’t let fear of your emotions lead your life. Build all the snowmen you like. 

-Buck, C., & Lee, J. (Directors). (2013). Frozen [Film]. Walt Disney Animation Studios; Walt Disney Pictures.